Have you ever been famous for a day? Lots of my snails get to be film stars. In the early days I considered registering them with one of those agencies that hires out animals. I described Egbert in detail on a site which was obviously designed with cats and dogs in mind: colour of eyes black, colour of coat brown and gold stripes, personality calm and contemplative and so on. But they wanted £150 to register him and advertise him for hire so I gave up on that idea. However, I quite often get enquiries so I designed a special film package: whatever snails you need, temporary housing, some food, care instructions so you can get them to perform successfully under those hot lights and you send them back for a rest after you've finished filming. Harriet made this lovely film which is sure to make you laugh:

Footballing snails

Let's get this trending on twitter between us.